


One Sweet Moment

by jadedlemon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-07-28 15:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedlemon/pseuds/jadedlemon
Summary: There is something strange happening at the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's been over a year but i am back to writing, this time thanks to one very good dnd group. i hope you enjoy the ride.
> 
> i chose not to use archive warnings because i didn't want to spoil anything, but if anyone is worried about potential content please don't hesitate to send me a message to check, i'm jadedlemon on tumblr and i'm also usually hanging around the widomauk discord
> 
> fic title is from queen's "who wants to live forever" (or alternatively the postmodern jukebox version)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song from the performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7VnySZQoOE

Caleb remembers snippets of the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival. It’s been years since he saw it, but his memory has always been strong, no matter how much he tries to erase certain parts of it.

He remembers seeing the circus rolling into town, setting up shop in the park next to his university. He remembers pausing to watch them pitch the big top on his way to class, and he remembers the smiling half-elven man who had extended one welcoming hand to him while brandishing a wad of flyers in the other. He remembers reaching into his pocket mid-lecture and finding one of those brightly-coloured flyers tucked neatly inside.

He remembers passing the flyer to his parents when he returned home that weekend, and their polite interest in seeing the performance. He remembers taking the train with them back to university, buying tickets to the circus on Sunday night and the half-elven man flashing him a grin as he took his seat. He does not remember the other performers, or any of their acts, but he does remember waving his parents off late that night with a sense of satisfaction from an enjoyable evening at the circus together.

He remembers returning home again a few weeks later. It was the last time he ever would.

That flyer would be gone now, burned to ash all those years ago along with his home and family.

The Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival is not something that had crossed his mind at all in the years since, but it is hard not to think about it now, when it has set up once again in the vicinity of his current apartment.

Nott catches him staring out of their window one evening, intently focused on the big top in the distance, and mistakes his nostalgia for curiosity. “Did you want to go to the circus?”

“Perhaps,” he murmurs, and she moves to sit beside him to hear him better. “I went once before. It was an interesting experience. A good experience, I think. Perhaps I would like to go again with you.”

Nott makes a soft hissing noise. Caleb does not turn to her but he has been her friend long enough to know that particular sound means she’s smiling. “I think that would be fun! I can buy us tickets if you like. I’m free all the time, and you’re free all the time, so we can go to the cheapest showing. Unless you have any other plans…?”

“ _ Nein.  _ You know I have no other plans.” He’s still unsure about going at all. Would it only serve to dredge up bad memories? Most likely, yes. But now Nott is excited about it, talking away by his side about how she has never seen a circus but she is sure they are very fun, and that there will be huge crowds from which she can easily swipe valuables, and Caleb doesn’t have the heart to let her down. He will be safe, and he will be with Nott, and he will be able to leave at any time if he has to. And it isn’t as if he has anything better to do with his time.

The next morning Nott comes home with a pile of jewellery in one hand and two circus tickets in the other, and now he has committed to this outing.

\---

He dresses up a little for the occasion. It isn’t often he leaves the house for anything other than job hunting, groceries or the occasional con with Nott, so if nothing else the circus will be a nice change of scenery. He puts on his best cardigan, takes the time to actually brush his hair, swallows his anxiety, and sets off.

Even with Nott walking beside him, his apprehension grows with every step towards the circus tent. The park is only a five minute walk away but by the time they set foot in it he has had to undo his top button to allow himself more room to breathe. The chilly evening air is on his side at least, just refreshing enough to stop him from feeling crushed by the small groups of people around them and the intensely circus-like atmosphere. It isn’t a bad atmosphere, per se, but it’s not one he’s used to. It could be quite nice really, he thinks, were he able to relax and enjoy it. The big top dominates the area despite its more muted tones of rosey red and pale yellow, lit starkly against the darkening sky. A few stalls are set up around them and carnival folks in all kinds of costumes call out enthusiastically to passers by. Tucked away behind everything is a cluster of smaller tents and caravans, and a few workers hurry to push trolleys of costumes and equipment towards the big top.

There is not much of a queue, but enough that they are left outside long enough for Caleb to catch the eye of a very familiar man. The half-elf who had given him that first flyer flashes him an almost knowing grin as they pass by, and Caleb turns away immediately, feeling irrational panic mount in his chest.

_ He cannot possibly recognise me _ , he reasons,  _ It has been years, and I was much younger then, and he sees many, many faces all around the country every day. It is likely that he just smiles at everybody as they are all paying customers or potential paying customers. No need to be concerned about this. _

Nott is tugging him forward, and he realises then that they are - thankfully - next in line. His tickets are taken by a burly, dark-haired woman who gives them a quick once-over before parting the fabric of the tent to usher them inside. Nott, seeing his face taught with worry, taps at him gently until he bends down to ear level. “Don’t worry,” she whispers, “I didn’t steal anything yet so they can’t prove anything even if they search me.”

“Ah. I see.” Caleb clears his throat.  _ That is not what I am anxious about,  _ he thinks, but doesn’t correct her. The inside of the tent uses the same colours as outside, but the walls and ceiling are obscured by black fabric laced with sparkling fairy lights, giving the impression of a midnight sky above them. They are seated a few rows from the front, and he forces himself to let go of his thoughts and focus on enjoying the show.

It’s not unlike what he remembers, but there are definitely some new additions. A human woman with cropped hair twists herself into all kinds of inhuman poses, squeezing her body into tiny boxes in a way that makes Caleb feel mildly ill. A green-skinned half-orc man flips and spins a deadly sharp sword, balancing it by the tip before swallowing it to its hilt, and Caleb’s nausea grows as he finds himself horrified yet unable to look away. A blue tiefling girl emerges in the frilliest pink dress he has ever seen and charges straight for the audience for volunteers, which makes Caleb’s stomach churn in a whole other way – thankfully, she bypasses them entirely and chooses two other audience members, who she uses as weights in a show of strength he categorically had not expected from her appearance. All in all, the circus captures his interest, and by the time the interval rolls around he is genuinely looking forward to seeing what more is in store.

“Popcorn, ice cream, candy floss,” someone calls from the aisle beside him as a pink-haired firbolg saunters past with a tray of refreshments. “Popcorn, ice cream, candy floss, special blend tea,” he calls again, and Caleb raises a hand to stop him.

“What kind of tea?”

“Ah, it’s my own blend. Would you like to try some? It costs some money, of course.” The firbolg gestures to a price list stuck to his tray, “They wouldn’t let me give it for free.”

Caleb considers it, and decides that a warm cup of tea would be good for him. The tent isn’t cold, exactly, but it’s not warm either. And it may help him to calm the nerves that still linger. “I’ll take two.”

“Coming right up,” The firbolg gets to work on making the teas, which is an impressive feat when he’s making them on a tray hung around his neck. He seems to be an expert in tray-bound tea-making, however, as he continues talking while he works. “Can I interest you in anything else? Popcorn, ice cream, candy floss - I’m supposed to say that a lot.” He chuckles, and adds, “I sell programmes too if you want to see what acts are up.”

“Ah,  _ nein _ , thank you, just the teas,” Caleb replies.

“No problem.” The firbolg hands him two Styrofoam cups, one of which he passes along to Nott. “Hope that warms you up good. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

The show starts again with an abrupt swell of music from the band, and from above, pure white silks descend into the ring. Most flutter to the ground, bar two which twirl in place in the centre, fixed to something high above the audience’s heads. Among the swathes of silk, Caleb sees a figure emerge from backstage, approaching the centre step by elegant step, and it’s one he recognises. Only vaguely – he must have been here when the circus first visited, and he has certainly ramped up the volume of silk in his act since then – but Caleb is sure he has seen this man before. He wears an outfit to match the white silks surrounding him, tight leggings and a sheer, flowing top that exposes the purple skin of his shoulders. His tiefling horns shine under the circus lights from the silver and gold that adorns them. A pattern of twining feathers flows downwards from the skin on his cheek, and Caleb can’t quite tell where the extravagant tattoo ends. As he reaches the centre of the ring, the tiefling wraps his silks around one hand, and allows it to carry him upwards.

He stands effortlessly in mid-air, supported only by one arm, waving to the audience with the other. For a moment, Caleb swears he catches his eye. 

And then the music quiets, only piano and violin left in harmony, and the act truly begins.

The tiefling twists his body with the silks and the silks with his body, never once losing his graceful poise. Caleb can’t look away from the curve of his back, the way his limbs flow in time to the music as it picks up speed and more instruments join the performance. It must take impossible amounts of strength and flexibility to pull this off, and Caleb is truly impressed. Fleetingly he wonders what makes this so different to the others – each of the acts tonight have had their own incredible talents, but this one… this performance has him enraptured.

What started as a slow, beautiful melody quickly surges, filling Caleb’s chest in a way he has never felt music do before. The tiefling looks ethereal, surrounded by stars as he flips and spins between the two silks, wrapping his legs tightly around them –

And then he drops, and the audience gasps as one at the suddenness of it. Caleb’s heart leaps in horror. But he has not fallen. He hangs upside down, the silks around his feet keeping him securely in place, his arms and hair flowing towards the ground beneath him, his smile blindingly bright under the soft spotlight.

He reaches for the silk and pulls himself upright, lowering himself down until he is on the floor again. Stepping briefly away, he picks a loose swathe of silk off the floor – Caleb briefly ponders how they clean all of his décor up afterwards – and drapes it around his shoulders like a cape, standing tall and giving the audience a delighted wink. Looking as closely as he is, Caleb notices his chest heaving a little as he takes a second to recover his breath.  _ So he is not superhuman after all. _

He moves around the ring in a dance, feet barely touching the floor even without his silks, arms reaching out towards the audience. Every movement is filled with emotion, and Caleb unexpectedly feels the same emotions wash over him. As the music begins to pick up again, the tiefling takes hold of his silks once more, walking with them towards the audience – almost in Caleb’s direction – until with one last crescendo he is pulled sharply into the air again by whatever mechanism the silks hang from.  _ He is flying¸ _ Caleb thinks.  _ I do not know how, but he is flying. _

The tiefling looks like he belongs in the air, twisting and spinning and –  _ Scheisse –  _ doing a perfect split between the two silks. He holds Caleb’s attention until the very end, as he forms a swing for himself from the silks and slowly descends on it like some kind of fey queen, and as he falls into one final stunning drop just before he reaches the bottom, and as he unravels himself and cartwheels back upright as the song comes to an end.

Caleb may have recognised the performer, but he certainly has not seen something like that before.

He needs to know his name.

“Nott,” Caleb whispers to her as the tiefling leaves the stage, still wearing his makeshift silk cape, waving all the while, “I am going to find that tea man and take him up on his offer of a programme.”

“You are?” She gives him a questioning look, “I don’t think they sell during the show.”

“Then I will try to look for him, and if he is not there I will come back. It is not too important, I would just like to know the names of the acts.” He slips away quietly without waiting for her response, scanning the audience for pink hair.

The firbolg isn’t hard to find, towering above most other people in the tent. He is stood near the exit, watching the show intently until Caleb approaches.

“Um,  _ hallo _ . If you are still selling those programmes then I think I will take one after all.”

The firbolg chuckles, reaching down to rummage through the bag by his side. “Did our Molly inspire you?”

“Molly?” Caleb repeats, and his heart gives an odd skip at the name – presumably the name of the purple tiefling, but he would not get ahead of himself.

“He just performed, on the aerial silks. Beautiful act, really. He really knows how to put on a show.” The firbolg finished his search, sliding a thin book from the bag and holding it out to Caleb, who places the correct change in his other hand and takes it with mumbled thanks. “Enjoy the rest of the show,” the firbolg says, waving Caleb back to his seat.

As soon as he is seated he flips open the pages. It’s hard to see in the low light, but Caleb is used to trying to read in the dark. He skims the first half – he is not looking for advertisements, or speeches from the ringmaster, or even the names of the other performers. Right now, he is only looking for Molly.

Molly has a two-page spread dedicated to his act, most of it taken up by a beautiful image of him sat in mid-air between the two silks, in the same white outfit he had just performed in, more swathes of white swirling around him. His head is bowed, his arms stretched vertically to support himself, and he looks almost as stunning as he did in real life.

There is not much information on him. The programme mostly discusses the ideas behind his current performance, with no mention of his history with the circus. There is, however, his full name printed in graceful letters.

Mollymauk Tealeaf.

It’s not a name Caleb recognises, but it’s not a name he will soon forget.

\---

“Don’t you think it was super cool when they did that thing where they—where they looked like snakes coiling all over the place?” Nott leads him out of the tent by the hand, practically skipping with joy. Caleb is glad he chose to bring her to the circus. It turned out to be a good night for both of them, and nothing bad has happened yet.

“ _ Ja _ , it was all very impressive,” he agrees, tugging her lightly away from a stranger’s pocket as he catches them about to turn around. “Thank you for coming with me. I have had a very nice time.”

“You know I’ll go with you to anything.” She shrugs, plucking a few loose coins from the next person who passes and slipping them into her own pockets. “We should go out more often! It’s all well and good spending time together in the flat, but there are lots of fun things out in the world, you know.”

“We don’t have the money to go out all the time.”

“Well, not  _ all _ the time, silly.” Nott reaches back into her pocket and takes out the stolen coins, counting them as if they had been hers all along. “Besides, we have this money right now. We should treat ourselves. Sweet or salted popcorn?”

Caleb frowns down at her. “Aren’t you supposed to buy popcorn before the show?”

“I’ll get both.” Slipping her hand out of his, Nott hurries towards a food stall, leaving Caleb briefly alone.

The crowds have calmed now, most of the audience having already made their way out. The circus grounds are eerily quiet, only a few conversations around him. He shoves his hands into his pockets to guard against the breeze and turns to look back at the tent, admiring the impressive structure illuminated under the moon.

That’s when he sees a purple tiefling by one side of the tent, doing much the same thing.

Nott is still waiting to order – there’s a small queue, and the server seems to be taking their time. He has time to spare. He could approach the tiefling –  _ Mollymauk _ – while nobody else is around, compliment him on his performance. He could step out of his comfort zone a little and try talking to him. He is not sure why this notion has taken him, but he is already beginning to move towards him.

Mollymauk has changed out of his white costume, and into something that more than makes up for its lack of colour. In a stark contrast to his earlier outfit, he is wrapped in a coat which Caleb can only assume holds every colour under the sun in its fabric. His hands have disappeared deep within its pockets, and he is gazing not at the tent but at the moon itself. It casts a soft glow over him, painting his lavender skin shades of ghostly blue.

_ What am I doing? _

Caleb stops walking, feeling for his keychain and twisting it around his fingers to calm himself. He doesn’t know what came over him. Mollymauk is not the kind of person Caleb associates with. Caleb, for that matter, is almost definitely not the kind of person Mollymauk associates with. He has never even interacted with the man but he already knows that he is too good to talk to someone like Caleb. A beautiful, successful circus performer would certainly be creeped out if approached by a scruffy, jobless man like him and told – and told...

And told what, exactly? What was his goal here? He didn’t even have anything in particular to say. This, all of this, was a mistake to even consider. He ought to turn back, help Nott with the popcorn, get both of them home safely and hide in his room for a good while. Possibly the rest of the week, probably just the rest of the night, until morning comes and his heart rate allows him to breathe again and his brain stops kicking itself for his stupidity.

Except Mollymauk is looking at him.

“Evening,” he calls over, his whole face lighting up in a smile. His voice is faintly accented, and Caleb’s mouth hangs open, making only a faintly strangled sound in place of a greeting. “Enjoy the show? I think I spotted you in the audience.” He walks towards Caleb, closing the distance between them, and holding out a hand.

“It- I- Uh- Yes thank you,” Caleb manages to stammer out. He automatically removes a hand from his pocket to shake Mollymauk’s, but stops short of doing so. Instead, he turns on his heel and walks away, with only a vague half-explanation tossed over his shoulder, “I have to - Bye.”

_ That was not an explanation at all,  _ he chastises himself, but at least he has successfully fled the social situation.

Or so he thought. “Excuse me,” the same accent calls out behind him after he has already walked a good few metres away. “Hello! Excuse me! I think you dropped something!”

He turns back, and Mollymauk is hurrying after him, waving Caleb’s keys in one hand. “Oh. Ah, yes. That is – that is mine. Thank you.” Caleb reaches for it and Mollymauk presses it into his hand, still smiling blindingly at him.

“Not at all. I’m Mollymauk Tealeaf, by the way.”

“I know,” Caleb responds automatically, and immediately kicks himself for it.  _ That’s it. Conversation over once again. There is no recovering this. Leave now and inform Nott we can never return here. _

Mollymauk is taken aback, but only briefly – then he is laughing, and as much as Caleb enjoys the sound, he is suddenly finding it harder to focus. “I suppose you do,” Mollymauk is saying, and Caleb shuts out the rest of his words so that he can breathe.

He doesn’t know how long he spends staring at a point in the distance trying to calm himself, but he is pulled out of his stupor by that Irish accent once again. “Hello? Are you okay?” Mollymauk’s voice is softer this time, an edge of genuine concern to it, and when Caleb looks at Mollymauk’s face he finds a matching expression.

Caleb opens his mouth to reply, and can’t quite find any words at all. Mollymauk presses his lips into a thin line, brow quirking in thought. “You look anxious. Are you breathing okay? If I’m overwhelming you, just say the word or shoo me away or anything and I’ll go. Is that what you want?”

_ Yes _ , Caleb’s brain tells him. But he is not thinking with his brain. He shakes his head a little.  _ Stay _ .

“Alright. Are you here with someone? Are they nearby?”

Caleb is not used to receiving this amount of kindness from a near-stranger during an anxious spell. It’s odd, but a nice feeling all the same, knowing that someone seems to care for his well-being without knowing him at all. He clears his throat, finding it slightly easier to breathe now. “I am with my friend. She is buying popcorn. You don’t have to worry about me, Mollymauk.”

“Are you sure?” Mollymauk raises an eyebrow at him, but his smile is returning to his lips. “You did give me a bit of a fright. Are you doing alright now?”

“I am doing fine.” Caleb nods. “I, um, should go find my friend. Thank you again – for the show, and for the keys, and for your concern.”

He makes sure to leave this time without looking back. He will not put his foot in his mouth and embarrass himself again. Behind him, he hears Mollymauk call, “I didn’t catch your name!”

He does not turn back to give it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to crunchywrites for being an excellent beta and teaching me how grammar works
> 
> if anyone wants to see the videos i watched for inspiration for molly's performance; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN8VABMr_uc and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZKijHEv4iM


	2. Chapter 2

“So, you may want to sit down before I tell you this.” Nott puts a hand on Caleb’s arm, rousing him from his book. He is already sitting, so she continues without pause. “Last night at the circus, when I went to find a bathroom, I also found some really super shiny rings, which I took even though I had to break into a trailer for them, and this morning when I walked past the park I saw a sign on the circus tent that is pretty much calling for my execution.”

Caleb is unperturbed by this. Nott’s sticky-fingered habits have landed her in many a sticky situation, but they have always found a way to wriggle out of punishment. He tucks his bookmark into his book, sets it down on the table, and watches her expectantly.

“Well,” she continues, “maybe I exaggerated a little. But the gist of it is that the circus folk are looking for whoever took the rings and are offering a _reward_ for anyone who comes forward as a witness.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Here’s what I propose—”

Nott pauses for dramatic effect, and Caleb cuts in. “We disguise ourselves, tell them we saw who took the rings and chased them down, return the rings, give them a false description of their criminal, and reap an even bigger reward than we would get from selling the rings on?”

“Close! You’re—Yes, that’s very close to what I was going to say, actually. How did you know?”

“We have been doing this together for a very long time, Nott,” Caleb sighs. He finds his mind drawn back to the circus – more specifically to Mollymauk, and how beautiful he had looked on stage, and how kind he had been in person. _Don’t start this again, Caleb, you only just got him out of your head,_ he thinks. But something in him is reluctant to con the circus folk out of their money. He has not had much interaction with them at all, but if they are all like what he has seen of Mollymauk then they are all good people. They do not deserve to be on the receiving end of his and Nott’s less-than-legal activities. “I am not so sure about conning them, Nott. It seems particularly disrespectful to enjoy their show and then profit off of their misfortune.”

Nott’s ears flatten but she gives a slow nod in response. “I see… I suppose you’re right. Then I’ll take these rings and find a buyer now…”

“ _Nein_ , we are returning the rings.”

“ _What?!”_ Nott exclaims in horror. “Are you kidding me? They’ll have me arrested! I already stole the rings, Caleb, are you _trying_ to get us caught?! Executed, even?! Are you out of your _mind_?!”

Caleb shrugs. “I can talk our way out of it. If we make up a convincing lie they will never know the difference. I would appreciate if you would come with me, but if you would really rather not risk it then I can go myself.”

Nott narrows her eyes at him, humming in contemplation. “Fine. I’ll come with you, because I care about you and I don’t want you to get arrested without me there to assassinate anyone who comes near you. But if this goes badly the blame lies entirely with you.”

“Of course. No blame at all shall lie with you, the one who stole the rings in the first place.” Caleb stands, crossing the room to tuck his book back into its rightful place on the bookshelf. Nott opens her mouth, and before she can begin to make excuses, he adds, “We can go after their show tonight. If we enter while the crowds are leaving then we will have little issue getting in, and we will hopefully catch the ringmaster and/or poster maker while everything is winding down for the night. They will be tired then, less likely to cause a fuss.”

Caleb hopes that the poster maker in question, and therefore the owner of the rings, is not Mr. Mollymauk. As difficult as it may be, he would like to avoid Mollymauk entirely during their visit tonight, and ideally for the rest of his life. Perhaps he should abandon this good deed simply to ensure there is no risk of running into him at all.

But apparently someone cared about those rings enough to pay for their safe return, and what if they did belong to Mollymauk? Caleb cannot accept the idea that Mollymauk, or a friend of Mollymauk’s, may lose some important memento because of him. After all, he knows just how important a memento can be. So, he makes the decision; he will go to the circus that evening, return the rings to anyone but Mollymauk, smooth talk his way out of any kind of punishment, and make himself a good cup of tea as a small reward once home.

xxx

It’s already dark by the time Caleb and Nott set off for the park, but the streets are lit with warmly glowing streetlamps and the big top is clearly visible in the distance. Even if they had been in total darkness Caleb would have been able to navigate the streets with ease. He has been living in this city, spending most of his life here, for years. He has not left since his parents’ passing.

“Look – there’s one of the posters I told you about.” Nott points as they near the circus. Caleb spots it quickly – it’s entirely handwritten, a quite impressive drawing of the stolen rings underneath a declaration of “WANTED” in bold print. With a swirl of his hand, Caleb summons a small globule of light and leans in to take a closer look at the information given.

“It says to report any information on the criminal to Jester,” he reports, “Which really could be anyone at the circus with a name like that.” He thinks back to the programme, wishing he had paid more attention to everyone but Mollymauk. Had he read the other pages at all, he would have been able to recall the names flawlessly. As it is, he’s coming up blank.

“I say we just run in, drop the rings somewhere so it looks like maybe they just fell out, and then run away,” Nott suggests.

“And if someone else steals them?” Caleb is already walking towards the tent again.

Nott follows somewhat reluctantly. “Well, then it’s not our problem any more, is it?”

“It is still our fault. Now, please allow me to do the talking – I appreciate that you are here for moral support, but I kindly ask that you try not to provide verbal support because that does not often go in our favour.”

The big top is not guarded now that the circus is mostly empty. Caleb pulls aside the fabric and pokes his head round. A large group of people sit near the ring, some in the front row seats and others on the wall, all clad in some kind of circus-like outfit. Caleb clears his throat. “Ah, _hallo?_ Excuse me.”

Many heads turn towards him at once, far too many for an anxious man like himself, but he can’t show his discomfort now. “I heard you were missing some rings, I believe I have found them.” Stepping further into the tent, he scans the group for familiar faces and silently praises the gods as he finds no sign of Mollymauk.

The blue tiefling, who he remembers from her incredible feats of strength, leaps to her feet. “Aha! A clue! Take a seat and we shall discuss who stole my precious rings and – wait.” She gasps, advancing on him. “Was it _you_? It was, wasn’t it? You took the rings last night while we were all busy with the show and now you feel bad so you’re returning them. I knew it! I knew I had seen your face in the audience, you had the perfect opportunity and everything!” Turning back to the rest of the group, she adds, “See? I’m a really great detective, you guys.”

“Actually, my friend here found your rings on the ground during our visit. Perhaps you dropped them.” At Caleb’s words, Nott nods enthusiastically, her lips pressed together far too tightly to look natural.

The tiefling scrunches her face up in an intense scowl. “I would _never_ drop my momma’s rings! Which means…” She leans forward, and Caleb feels as though she is peering into his soul. Beside him, Nott tenses, hand going to the knife she always keeps hidden on her person. “Someone _else_ tried to steal them first, but dropped them during their escape, and then you thought they were lost and brought them back to me!”

Caleb nearly physically sags in relief. “Perhaps, _ja_. Here – your rings.”

“Thank you very much! Also, don’t you think I’m a really great detective? Just call me Jester the Great Tiefling Detective! That’s my name.” The tiefling – Jester, presumably – pats her side for a bag and, finding nothing, chooses to put the rings on her fingers instead. “It was super nice of you to bring the rings back. You could have just kept them, but you _didn’t_.”

“Keeping them would be stealing,” another voice rings out from behind, and Caleb’s heart stutters. “And it’s bad form to steal from happy people. Like you, Jester darling.” When he looks over his shoulder, he sees Mollymauk Tealeaf striding into the tent, lit by a warm glow from the nearby candlelight, a wide grin stretched across his face. “Hello there,” he says as his eyes meet Caleb’s. “Nice to see you again.”

Breaking her Caleb-imposed vow of silence, Nott pulls a confused face. “Again? Caleb, do you know this guy?”

“ _Ja,_ well, uh, he performed last night, remember?” Caleb mutters, desperately wanting to leave and avoid explaining any of this to Nott. His heart is beating far too quickly, and he can do nothing but stare awkwardly at Mollymauk, whose face relaxes into a lazy smile.

“And then we had a bit of a chat afterwards,” Mollymauk adds. “ _Caleb,_ huh? Lovely name. Shame you didn’t give it to me last night. I’m Mollymauk, by the way, Molly to my friends – but you already knew that, Mr Caleb.”

Jester looks thrilled. Nott, on the other hand, looks disgusted. “Last night? Do I _want_ to know what happened last night? Because as his mother—"

“She is not my mother—"

“As his mother, I’m not sure I should be hearing about this! Goodness, Caleb, I was only gone five minutes!”

A high-pitched squeal erupts from Jester, and she bends down to whisper conspiringly (and rather loudly) to Nott, “Molly totally got some last night and didn’t even tell me! Look, you can feel the tension radiating from your son!”

“She is not my mother and the tension you are feeling is not sexual tension but rather absolute mortification,” Caleb says tersely. “I think it is time we take our leave. We have done what we came here for.”

Mollymauk’s easy grin falters at that. He looks disappointed, hurt even, and Caleb feels guilt sting his chest. “You’re welcome to stick around. I hope I haven’t made you feel unwelcome.”

“Yeah, stick around!” Jester says, “Molly doesn’t bite unless you want him to, and I still need to give you your reward for bringing me the rings!”

“Ah, we do not need a reward. Thank you, but we would feel bad taking your money when we are only returning what belongs to you. We shall be going—”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Jester stops them with a hand on Nott’s shoulder. “You guys were really great detectives, so it would be super cool if you wanted to help me solve all the mysteries in the circus! Like, how did my rings get onto the ground in the first place? We need to find the first robber!”

Caleb stammers briefly, struggling to formulate a convincing lie or a good enough excuse to leave. But before he manages to say anything, Nott cuts in, “I’d love to!”

_“Nott,_ ” he hisses, but she’s still engaged with Jester.

“Great! We can start our own agency, and people will ask us to solve their mysteries too, and we’ll earn a bunch of money from it and be rich and famous and…”

With Jester commandeering Nott’s attention and leading her away, Caleb feels more than ever the many pairs of eyes on him. He glances towards the group by the ring, giving an awkward wave which he’s certain advertises just how much he wants to leave. Nott, too, turns back to him and her face falters a little, apologetic. He shrugs and waves her off. She is enjoying herself, and so Caleb can handle a few minutes longer.

“She’s enthusiastic, isn’t she?”

Caleb jumps as Mollymauk speaks up from behind him. He’s closer than Caleb remembers, arms folded across his chest as he watches Jester and Nott hash out some odd plan together. “Jester, I mean. Seems she’s just stolen your friend.”

“ _Ja,_ well...” Caleb shrugs again. “Nott very much enjoys playing detective, so perhaps I should have seen this coming. It is no problem. It’s nice to see her making friends.”

Mollymauk hums in agreement. He falls silent, but only for a moment. “Would you like me to introduce you to the others?”

“Why?” Caleb asks without thinking, and then backpedals. “I mean, go ahead, I just – I am just some man who watched your show and then had one awkward conversation with you, or two awkward conversations now, so I am a little surprised that you want to introduce me to more people.”

“We don’t have to,” Molly says, laughing. “I suppose I don’t really know why. I feel like I ought to. You’re a very interesting man, Caleb…”

“Widogast.”

“Caleb Widogast. I’d like to get to know you better.”

Caleb is at a loss for words, heat rising in his cheeks – _from the candles_ , he tells himself – and so he says the one thing left on his mind. “Is Mollymauk Tealeaf your real name? Or a stage name?”

Taken aback, Mollymauk’s eyes widen and he lifts a hand to his lips to stifle a giggle. “It’s my real name. I’ve used stage names before, but I don’t know, I like performing as myself.”

“I think I’ve seen you perform once before. A few years ago. Your name was not Mollymauk then, and you did not have quite so much silk.”

“You remember me?” Mollymauk asks in surprise.

“I remember most things. But you…” Caleb gestures vaguely in his direction. “You are a hard man to forget.”

For too long, Mollymauk simply stares contemplatively at him. Caleb shrinks a little under his gaze, until Mollymauk shakes his head and smiles. “You really are something, Mr Caleb. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

He leads Caleb over to the group by the ring, allowing him to linger a few paces behind, and with a flourish introduces him to several of the other performers.

Caleb finds he doesn’t mind sitting on the ringside nearby, listening while Mollymauk and his troupe chat away easily. He has very little idea what they are talking about – they seem to be a tight-knit group, judging by the inside jokes and vague conversations which are understood perfectly by the circus folk but fly entirely over Caleb’s head. He feels almost as if he’s invading, and again he considers leaving, until Mollymauk turns to him mid-laugh and flashes him a brilliant smile and Caleb can’t help but chuckle a little, too. He can stay a while longer, he reasons, so long as Mollymauk seems to be enjoying his presence.

xxx

It’s not until Nott and Jester return that Caleb realises just how long they were gone. It surprises him; it has been a long time since he felt comfortable enough with anyone other than Nott to have time fly in their presence.

“Caleb!” Nott waves as she bounds over. “Jester and I investigated the scene of the crime, and we found _footprint_ s _._ I think they’re just footprints of the circus people, but it was still cool!”

“Did you solve the mystery?” Mollymauk leans forwards from his spot on the ringside wall, swinging his legs like an excited child.

“Nope! But we’re going to look for new mysteries soon!”

Jester nods solemnly as she catches up to them. “It was a sucky mystery anyway. I have the rings so who cares how they got on the ground? We could be solving murders or something much more fun! So, Nott is going to come back soon! And Caleb,” she sings his name, “You should come too and hang out with _Molly_ some more…”

Caleb does not like her tone. She seems to be implying something which he does not fully understand but is sure he is not a fan of. To confuse matters further, he is almost certain that he spots Molly mouthing a “thank you” to Jester out of the corner of his eye. Jester winks back with no attempt at subtlety. Caleb files the interaction under things he will likely never understand and picks up his coat. “Ah, perhaps I will. It has been nice meeting you all. Have a good night.”

“Wait, Caleb.” Mollymauk stands as soon as Caleb does, raising a hand as if to grab his arm but stopping short of touching him. “We, uh, we’re probably going to go find a bar or something right about now. If you and Nott are interested…?” He trails off, not finishing his sentence, but he doesn’t have to.

Caleb replies instantly. “Not tonight, Mollymauk, I’m afraid. But thank you for the offer.” He desperately needs to recharge his social energy before interacting with this group – or anyone – in the immediate future.

Nott, understanding entirely, pipes in. “Yes, we have, uh, band practice in the morning!”

“Band practice?” Mollymauk lifts an eyebrow at Nott. “I didn’t know you were musically inclined.”

“We’re not,” Nott replies. “I mean, we are—we’re not—did I say band practice? I meant singing lessons! I’ve been taking singing lessons, because I’m really bad at it you see, I can give you an example if you like—”

“Nott.” Caleb nudges her. “We do not need an example.”

“Personally, I’d love to hear it. But I don’t want anyone getting injured.” Mollymauk holds out a hand to Caleb, who hesitates only briefly before shaking it. “Well then, I’ll see you next time, Mr Caleb. Feel free to drop by after the show any time.”

“ _Ja,_ ” Caleb nods, “Perhaps we will.”

xxx

Caleb walks home with Nott shooting him frequent glances and obviously restraining a smile. Before they reach their apartment, he sighs and stops walking. “What?”

“I am so proud of you,” she says, no longer trying to hold back her grin. “You’re making friends.”

“I think you are making friends, and I am tagging along for the ride.”

“No, no! You spoke to Molly first!”

“Regrettably,” Caleb sighs. But it’s not the truth, not anymore. He had spoken to Mollymauk first and it had gone terribly. And then he had spoken to him a second time and Mollymauk hadn’t made a fool of him. He hadn’t laughed at Caleb’s awkwardness from the previous night. He had still wanted to get to know him. And tonight, Caleb had managed not to embarrass himself too much. Perhaps there was some promise there.

Nott hums, starting their walk again. “I don’t think it’s regrettable. I think it’ll be a good thing. Jester’s really nice, and Molly seems really nice, and I’m sure the others are really nice. So, we have new friends while they’re in town. Where’s the harm in that?”

To his own surprise, Caleb finds that he agrees.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huge apologies for that accidental month-long hiatus, got swept up in other things and lost my writing mojo for a bit, then got it back but was too nervous to post anything,,  
> the good news is while i was writing-but-not-posting i wrote 3 entire chapters of this so they shouldn't take another month to be uploaded

By the time the weekend rolls around, Nott has made firm friends with the circus folk. Naturally, this means that Caleb has also been visiting them more often than he deems necessary, but he supposes it's good for him to get out of the house more. His initial anxieties over the circus' link to his past seem meaningless now - of course none of them know who he is. And even if they had recognised him, they would have known nothing about him, not even his name.

 

With that knowledge, it is easier to separate the circus he saw all those years ago from this one. Though it keeps the same name, and a few of the original cast remain - Mollymauk, for one, as well as the ringmaster Gustav - the circus has changed enough that it might as well be an entirely new troupe. Caleb has met many of the newer members over the past week; Jester herself has only been with the circus a year or so, and Mollymauk has fallen in with her friend group easily. 

 

Caleb almost feels guilty that he does not know the names of every performer right off the bat, but he never did read the rest of that programme. All the same, he has gotten to know the performers as well as the staff behind the scenes. There's Beau, the surprisingly grouchy contortionist; Fjord, the sword-swallower who seems far too sensible to have taken up sword-swallowing in the first place; Caduceus, the soft-spoken, pink-haired firbolg who had sold him tea during the performance; and Yasha, a security guard almost as awkward in conversation as Caleb himself. Yasha seems particularly close to Mollymauk, both of them having been with the circus longer than the rest, and in trying to talk to her it becomes increasingly apparent why Mollymauk had taken to Caleb so quickly.

 

It has become routine, and routine is something Caleb enjoys. Every day, not long after dinner, he and Nott take a walk through the park and stop by the circus grounds. Sometimes they only drop in for a moment before allowing the troupe to get some well-deserved rest after their nightly performance. Sometimes they sit for hours just talking, and Caleb walks home with Nott in the dead of night with a strong sense of pride. He is not used to making friends, but perhaps it is something he could  _ get _ used to.

 

Tonight is a long night, and Nott is chattering away to Jester about the details of a mystery she thinks she has found. As usual, Mollymauk is perched right beside Caleb on the ringside wall. He seems to be listening intently to Nott, but every so often his concentration breaks just long enough to cast a sideways glance at Caleb, who does not know how to react other than to awkwardly turn his own gaze away. It has not escaped his notice that Mollymauk often stays close to him, whether Caleb sits in the audience's chairs or by the wall. He does not mind exactly - he only wonders why. Perhaps Mollymauk is intending to offer him some comfort, aware that a large group like this one can easily be overwhelming. He can't imagine what other reason there could be.

 

"Hey, Caleb," Mollymauk says after glancing at Caleb for the seventh time in as many minutes. His voice comes out a little hoarse, and he clears his throat. Caleb thinks he sees a faint blush rise in Mollymauk's cheeks. It's understandable - the same thing has happened to Caleb many times, being unaware that his voice would not be willing to cooperate before attempting to speak and ending up croaking his words instead. He wouldn't have expected Mollymauk to be bothered by something so small, but he does not know everything about the man, he supposes.

 

" _ Ja _ ?" He prompts when he realises Mollymauk is waiting for a response.

 

"I know you turned me down on this last time, but I just wanted to let you know that we've been going out to some local bars pretty regularly, and you and Nott are always invited." Mollymauk runs a hand through his hair, tugging nervously at a lock. "It's fine if you don't want to, of course. I get that bars and all that can be a lot. I just don't want you to be left out of it if it's something you are interested in."

 

Caleb presses his lips together in thought, turning away from Mollymauk to watch Nott a few rows back. "I know Nott would be interested. I don't want her to be left out of it, you know?"

 

"And you?"

 

"I don't know. I've never tried it."

 

From the corner of his eye he sees Mollymauk's eyebrows lift in surprise. "Never tried alcohol, or never tried going to a bar?"

 

"Oh, the bar." Caleb shrugs. "It always seemed just a step out of my comfort zone. But lately I have been pushing myself, and I have made friends out of it, which I would count as a success..."

 

"Definitely a success for us," Mollymauk cuts in with a grin. He holds out a hand, and Caleb stares at it blankly. "Would you like to take that step with us tonight? No pressure. Only if you want to."

 

"Um." Caleb doesn't have time to deliberate it properly, which is probably a good thing. He would talk himself out of it if he could. " _ Ja _ , okay. Let's go to a bar. Um, what is the hand for?"

 

Mollymauk's widening grin falters, and he pulls a face. "Good question! I think I was aiming for a bit of a dramatic gesture, like, 'you symbolically take my hand and we leave together into the unknown' type thing. But we're not even leaving yet, so it wouldn't have worked, huh?"

 

A smile tugs at Caleb's lips and he huffs a laugh. There's a feeling in his chest that he only ever remembers feeling for Nott - fondness is the closest word he can find for it. Mollymauk is still holding out his hand, and Caleb gazes down at it, unsure what he is expected to do.

 

"Now it's a high five." Mollymauk shifts the position of his hand, and Caleb obliges, fumbling a little. Still, Mollymauk seems both satisfied and less embarrassed by his own unexpected gesture. "We'll head out in a bit then, alright? I look forward to being graced by your presence."

 

xxx

 

After catching a surprised Nott up on their plans and ensuring that she was in agreement - which, of course, she was - their group heads out of the circus grounds and towards the town. Caleb finds himself quite excited, which he hadn't expected. A night out with friends may not be his usual scene, but he is going to try it, and it will help him to get to know these people better, and Nott will be there to help him if he finds he needs to leave. Even her presence is already a comfort. And Mollymauk has made a point of letting him know that this all happens on Caleb’s terms - if he does wish to leave, he is allowed to leave, and the others will neither stop him nor be disappointed in him.

 

They find a relatively quaint bar, the Nestled Nook, and pull a few tables together to crowd around. And what a crowd they turn out to be. It hits Caleb that there are a lot of people here, all but one of whom he has barely known a week, and he is probably expected to socialise with all of them. He promptly decides that he will not be doing that, and takes a seat on the outskirts of the crowd.

 

Appearing behind him, Mollymauk's hand hovers over Caleb's shoulder as he catches himself just short of touching him. He leans on the table instead, bringing himself closer to Caleb's eye level. "Can I get you a drink?"

 

"Just a beer for me. Do you know how much it costs?" Caleb fishes in his coat pocket for his wallet, rummaging through change until Mollymauk lightly bats at his hands.

 

"Stop that, it's on me."

 

"Really?" Caleb raises an eyebrow at him. "Why? Is that how this normally works, everyone buys each other drinks?"

 

"It depends. We normally get our own." Mollymauk shrugs. "But I would like to buy you a drink. Partly because I kind of dragged you out here."

 

"And the other part?"

 

That question, for whatever reason, makes Mollymauk pause. His gaze flickers briefly downwards, meeting Caleb's again after a moment. "Because I would like to buy you a drink."

 

He says it with such determination that Caleb is sure there must be some kind of subtext he is missing here. Caleb doesn't love the idea of owing something to anyone, but he supposes one drink couldn't hurt, and Mollymauk definitely seems set on the idea. "Okay.  _ Ja, _ okay. Please go ahead."

 

"Great!" Mollymauk claps his hands together. "I'll be just a minute!" He disappears towards the bar, leaving Caleb to drum his hands on his knees and try to avoid catching the eye of anyone else at the table.

 

Sooner than expected, a drink is placed on the table near him. When he turns, he does not find Mollymauk but rather Yasha taking a seat beside him. "Um, hello," she mumbles, "Are you enjoying your night?"

 

"Well it has only just begun," Caleb replies, "So I can't tell yet."

 

"Ah, of course." Yasha falls silent, reaching for her drink and taking a sip. Caleb wishes Mollymauk would return with his drink, just to be able to occupy himself with drinking as opposed to staring awkwardly around the room. He searches for Nott, finding her already halfway through her first glass and apparently interrogating Fjord.

 

Yasha clears her throat. "So you have made good friends with Mollymauk this week?"

 

Caleb blinks over at her. "I think so? I would like to think we are friends, at least. I don't know how he feels on the matter."

 

"Molly makes friends with most everyone," Yasha replies with a shrug. "But he seems to especially like you."

 

This is news to Caleb. He had realised that Mollymauk definitely seemed to like him, but he had assumed this was how Mollymauk acted with all new acquaintances he wanted to get along with. " _ Ja? _ " He prompts.

 

"Yeah. He talks about you a lot."

 

"All good things, I hope," Caleb says, but it's a gut response. He doesn't know what Mollymauk could possibly be saying about him. Perhaps this is where he finds out that Mollymauk has been laughing at his lack of social skills behind his back.

 

"He speaks highly of you," Yasha says. She pauses, and Caleb can see her thinking carefully about her words. Before she can continue, she is interrupted by a kiss on the cheek and a familiar Irish accent. 

 

"Hello, my love." Mollymauk shuffles himself onto Yasha's lap, balancing a drink in each hand. He reaches forward to pass Caleb his beer and then reclines, casually sipping his own cocktail. "What are we talking about?"

 

Yasha seems neither surprised nor bothered by Mollymauk's catlike behaviour. "You."

 

"Ah, my favourite topic. And what are we saying about me?"

 

"That you should probably get yourself a proper chair."

 

xxx

 

Mollymauk does eventually pull over a chair, squishing himself right into the fray just in front of Caleb. Caleb watches him leaning his chin on a hand for a while, laughing around the straw in his mouth. He really is a beautiful sight - he had almost forgotten his initial awe as the week wore on, but now that he can take in the details up close, he is once again enchanted by the way Mollymauk's hair falls in loose waves around him, the way his red eyes sparkle as he recounts some wild tale, his hands as animated as his face in telling the story. A lock of hair is trailing dangerously close to his drink as he leans forwards, and in his slightly tipsy state Mollymauk does not notice it. Caleb leans in and brushes it away, earning him a pause in the conversation and a grateful smile.

 

The night wears on, and for the most part Caleb is content just listening to the conversations around him. A drunken Beau approaches him at one point, crouching down by his chair. "Hey. Hey, you look kind of miserable here. You good, or...?"

 

"That is just my face," he replies.

 

Beau nods slowly. "Fair enough. Well let us know if you need anything or whatever. I'm gonna go get more alcohol."

 

Caleb gives her a look that questions whether that is a good idea, but he says nothing. He barely knows her, and it does not feel like his place to stop her. She stumbles a little as she walks away, leaning on the wall for support. Caleb turns his attention back to the group, but his brain sticks on that conversation; he replays it in his head, wondering if he was too brash, if she had left because she decided after five words that he wasn’t worth talking to.

 

The music is beginning to feel too loud, and it doesn't help that Nott is currently the one on the karaoke machine, droning along to some song Caleb doesn't know with an equally loud Jester by her side. He can feel himself getting antsy, and he taps rapidly on his empty glass in an attempt to counter it. 

 

"Caleb!" He jumps at the sudden call of his name as Mollymauk swings on his chair to face him. "Sing with me next."

 

Even the thought of it sparks anxiety in his chest. "Ah, I don't do karaoke. Sorry to disappoint."

 

Mollymauk looks down at Caleb's drumming fingers, his face turning serious. "You good? Do you want to leave?"

 

He is giving him a lifeline, and Caleb jumps at it. "It would be good to step outside for a bit, I think."

 

"Alright. Come on, let's go." Mollymauk stands, holding his hand out to Caleb once more. This time, with some hesitation, Caleb takes it just long enough to get himself on his feet. With a passing nod to Yasha, Mollymauk leads Caleb out the door and into the chilly night air.

  
xxx  
  


They walk together to a quiet bench nearby, and Mollymauk takes a seat, patting the spot beside him. It's freezing, so as Caleb sits down he draws his coat closer. Mollymauk shivers and follows his lead. "You don't have to stay out here with me. You can go back inside and join your friends," Caleb suggests.

 

"Of course not." Mollymauk smiles softly at him. "I needed to sober up a bit anyway. The cold sure works for that. You look freezing, by the way - do you want my coat?"

 

"I'm already wearing a coat, Mollymauk. And you are also cold. Are you more drunk than I thought?"

 

“Maybe.” Mollymauk shrugs, laughing. "Well, I thought it'd be nice to offer. I didn't think that one through either, did I?" His smile regains that serious quality it had shown just a moment ago. "I seem to be finding it difficult to think straight, talking to you."

 

"Why?" Caleb asks.

 

For a moment, Mollymauk eyes him curiously. "Ah, it's nothing. Just a joke. Don't worry about it."

 

_ Everyone is acting oddly, _ Caleb thinks. He really feels like he is missing something, but he can't for the life of him place what it could be. He sets the thought aside - there's nothing he can do about it now short of just asking, and it's possible he's just imagining it. Instead he falls into silence with Mollymauk beside him, gazing up at the stars.

 

"Fuck, it is freezing though," Mollymauk complains after a while. "Mind if I sit a bit closer? Maybe if we share body heat..."

 

Caleb nods and shuffles along the bench until his sleeve is just barely grazing Mollymauk's. Mollymauk, in return, leans into him slightly until Caleb can feel his warmth. "You are very hot," he says, and immediately regrets his word choice. "I mean, uh, heat wise."

 

"And appearance wise, I hope." Mollymauk smirks, but clearly doesn't expect Caleb to answer as he continues, "It's a tiefling thing. We're warm-blooded. And yet I still feel far too cold out here."

 

"We can go back inside, if you want. I think I will get Nott home soon, she tends to go a little too far on the drinking."

 

Mollymauk nudges his side. "If it's all the same to you, I'm quite enjoying it right here. I'd like to stay like this a bit longer." He’s focused on the night sky, facing away from Caleb, so Caleb takes the opportunity to look at him. The jewellery adorning his horns jingles in the breeze, and his tail is draped over the bench, curling around behind Caleb. Caleb's eyes trace the feathers of Mollymauk's tattoo until Mollymauk turns, starling him out of his daydream. "Okay?"

 

" _ Ja. _ That is good with me." Caleb keeps eye contact as long as he can before his nerves get the better of him and he has to look away. 

 

"Excellent," Mollymauk says. "So, Mr Caleb, tell me about yourself."

 

Caleb does. He tells him about his degree, and tells him how he has barely used it since graduating, being unable to find a solid job since. He tells him about his close friendship with Nott, and about his cat - Mollymauk seems enamoured by the cat's name, Frumpkin, and expresses a great need to meet him someday. He avoids mentioning his family - it’s instinctual for him now, but he almost feels guilty to have left out such vital information. Still, Mollymauk didn't ask for his entire life story, and he doesn't press Caleb about any of it. They sit there until neither of them can bear the cold any longer, a quick breath of fresh air turned into a lengthy conversation. By the time they head back into the bar, the rest of the troupe are just finishing off their last drinks. It’s a relief - Caleb is more than ready to head home for the night, even if part of him wants to stay talking to Mollymauk for just a little longer.

 

xxx

 

The following evening, Gustav calls on Caleb and Nott as he sees them cross the circus grounds.

 

Having mostly avoided talking to Gustav this whole time, it instills a fear in Caleb, one that Nott apparently shares. "Do you think he found out the truth behind the rings?" She hisses as they head towards the ringmaster, "I knew we shouldn't have brought them back here. Don't worry, I have my knife. We can make a break for it over the fence if we have to, I'll help you climb, that way it'll be easier to avoid the police..."

 

"We will not be stabbing the ringmaster of our new friends," Caleb states.

 

"Are you sure? Not even just a little stab?" Nott frowns as Caleb gives her a look that says  _ final answer _ . "Well, you're probably right. But just in case!"

 

Gustav doesn't seem to have heard their conversation, which is definitely best for everyone involved. He leads them into a trailer with a small office set up, sitting across the desk from them. "I expect you’re wondering why I called you over. Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”

 

“Oh, thank god,” Nott whispers loudly.

 

“I know the two of you have been here pretty much every night since we got here, and my troupe have really taken a liking to you. Now, Mollymauk happened to mention you were looking for work - I can offer you something temporary while we're in this town. Not performing, unless you have something up your sleeve you’d like to show me-”

 

Panic flashes across Nott’s face. “Nothing! Nothing at all is up my sleeves!”

 

Gustav pauses in confusion. “Alright… anyways, perhaps aiding with some behind the scenes work would be fitting for you both?” 

 

“This is… a very generous offer, sir, but quite sudden if you don’t mind me saying,” Caleb says, his mind churning. This offer seems too good to be true, and he desperately wants to ask what the catch would be, but bites his tongue.

 

Gustav nods. “Of course, I'll give you some time to think about it, but try not to wait too long. We have maybe a month and a half left here before we move on, so it's already not much. But your friends persuaded me to give you an excuse to hang out here more, and we can always do with more hands."

 

Caleb can't find the words to respond. Thankfully, Nott does it for him. "Hell yeah! I mean, thank you very much for the offer, kind sir. We will both consider it very deeply."

 

With a hearty laugh, Gustav stands and leads them to the door as he adds, "Well then, let me know what you decide. I hope to see you soon, whether it be as friends or employees."

 


	4. Chapter 4

Getting himself a job was not what Caleb had expected to come of this. And yet here he is, sitting by the ringside in the middle of the afternoon as Mollymauk wraps himself in his silks, waiting to fly. Mollymauk is wearing a loose shirt and distractingly tight leggings - Caleb isn't one for checking people out, but it's hard not to find his gaze occasionally drawn downwards. Still, he does his best to focus. He is supposed to be working with Mollymauk to see what kinds of special effects he can add to the show with a bit of simple magic. He will do what he came here for, and he will do it without falling for such distractions.

 

"So, here's what I'm thinking," Mollymauk calls to him. He has pulled himself a fair way up the silks by now, and Caleb is reminded of just how impressive he can be. "Can you make some kind of breeze? Like a wind effect? I think that'd look good catching the silks, and you can't get quite as strong an effect with a fan."

 

"I can certainly try," Caleb calls back. "Do you want me to do a little now?"

 

"Yes, please!" Mollymauk secures himself in the silks, and Caleb makes sure to give him enough time before rummaging in his bag for a tiny glass bottle with nothing but air inside. With a flourish he thumbs off the cork and directs his magic towards the ring, keeping it small for now; the silks flutter beneath Mollymauk, and Caleb twists the wind just enough to have them turn in a circle before corking the bottle again.

 

"How was that?"

 

"Perfect! We can work out something a little stronger to give more of an effect. I think it'd look great with all the spare silks blowing about the floor." Mollymauk slides easily to the ground, landing on tiptoe and untangling himself. He makes his way over to Caleb, picking up a water bottle from beside him and taking a drink. "I could go through the whole routine just now for you, so you can see where you might be able to add something in? I'm open to whatever suggestions you might have."

 

Caleb's heart skips at that. Mollymauk is essentially offering him a private performance of the show he dedicates his life to. For practical reasons, of course, but still - it feels like something Caleb does not deserve to have all to himself. "Well, then, I will get the popcorn," he jokes, and can’t help but feel a little proud of himself when Mollymauk laughs.

 

Mollymauk flicks through his phone for a bit before finding what he's looking for, and hands it to Caleb with the instruction to hit play on the music when he gives the go ahead. He makes his way to the centre of the ring again, then pauses. "It won't be exactly the same as the normal performance, because usually someone's controlling the silks from backstage to pull them up and all that, but it's just us today. I hope you don't mind."

 

"Not at all," Caleb replies, "I remember the real thing very well. I have a good memory."

 

"Good!" Mollymauk's lips quirk into a smile. "You'll be spotting all my mistakes, then." There's a strange energy radiating from him, and Caleb can feel it from across the room - a mix of nerves and excitement. Or perhaps that's just Caleb's own emotions. Mollymauk regularly performs for hundreds of people, and Caleb can't imagine why he would be nervous to rehearse in front of him, especially since he has already seen the act. Perhaps it's due to how personal, how intimate this feels despite the distance between them.

 

Mollymauk takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and gives Caleb a nod. The music starts, and Mollymauk begins his act.

 

Even without the staging and costume, Mollymauk looks incredible up there. He is just as elegant in casual clothes as he is in costume, and as he twists his top slides off of one shoulder, revealing more of the tattoo beneath. Caleb's breath hitches as Mollymauk hangs upside down, the silks swinging around him, and their eyes meet. Even from this distance, he can see Mollymauk's mouth fall open slightly before spreading into a wide smile, and he moves a hand to brush a hair from his face - and drops.

 

Caleb is on his feet immediately. He hasn't quite grown used to Mollymauk's sudden drops, even when they are part of the act, but this time feels different. He had seen the smile wiped from Mollymauk's face just before he fell. Dangerously close to the floor, Mollymauk fumbles for the silk, catching himself with one hand for just long enough to swing himself upright before dropping the rest of the way. Faintly, Caleb hears him curse, and it's enough to unfreeze his own muscles.

 

"Mollymauk!" Caleb hurries towards him, dropping to his knees on the floor beside him. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? What happened?"

 

"Just got a bit distracted, is all." Mollymauk winces but does his best to smile at him. "I must've forgotten to secure myself properly before I let go." 

 

He is holding his wrist in one hand, and Caleb reaches for it carefully. "You hurt yourself."

 

"Well, my butt's killing me from that landing," Mollymauk says with a shrug, but lets Caleb cradle his hand anyway. There's a faint red mark, but otherwise he sees nothing.

 

"Is it twisted?" He asks.

 

"My butt? Probably not," Mollymauk replies. When Caleb gives him an unimpressed look, he adds with an apologetic smile, "It'll be fine, it's just a bit strained from suddenly catching my entire body weight. Really, Caleb, falls happen all the time. You don't have to look so worried."

 

Caleb sits back and does his best to smooth the crease in his brow. He lets Mollymauk's hand fall gently into the tiefling's lap, focusing instead on his face. He really doesn't look particularly bothered by this. In fact, he's watching Caleb with a fond smile. His tail is raised and curling behind him; Caleb is not well versed in tiefling body language, but Mollymauk looks... happy. Caleb can't fathom why.

 

"Was this because I was here watching?" Caleb asks.

 

Mollymauk sags at the question. "No. Well, yes, but it's not your fault. The honest answer is, yes, I got distracted because I was trying too hard to impress you. Nothing you did, and nothing you could have done about it. It's just me being a bit of a disaster." He gets to his feet, rubbing at his tailbone before holding out his good hand to Caleb.

 

Caleb takes his hand and stands. "I'm sure it should be me helping you up."

 

"Well, you were too slow. Come on, I'm going to wrap this wrist or something so it doesn't get worse. We can work more on special effects some other time." Mollymauk begins to head out of the ring, fixing his top and pulling on a jumper along the way.

 

"Are you still going to perform tonight?" Caleb asks, hurrying after him.

 

"Of course. Like I said, this kind of thing happens all the time. 'Tis but a scratch. I just need to be a bit more careful than usual."

 

Despite his lingering concern, Caleb smiles. "Perhaps you should have been a bit more careful in the first place."

 

Mollymauk bumps him with a hip as they leave the tent, sending Caleb stumbling into the canvas door. "Yes, alright, you cheeky sod. You wound me more than that fall did." 

 

xxx

 

"You're sure you're okay?" Caleb prompts again as Mollymauk finishes tightly bandaging his wrist.

 

"Caleb, I am fine and I will do literally anything to prove it to you. For example..." Mollymauk's voice turns sly, and he saunters over to Caleb's side, leaning an arm against the wall of the trailer. "How about we go somewhere this weekend? And then you can see for yourself that a bit of a dodgy wrist will not hold the Great Mollymauk Tealeaf back from an absolutely wild day out."

 

"What kind of 'wild day out' are you thinking?" Caleb asks.

 

Mollymauk leans in a little. "It's all up to you. Whatever you suggest, just me and you... what do you say? Even if you don't think it counts as a 'wild day out', anything you want to do, I'm up for it." 

 

Caleb is attempting to stammer out a reply when the door bursts open. "Did someone say wild day out?!" Jester shouts from across the trailer. Mollymauk hurriedly removes his arm and stands properly, heaving an over-dramatic sigh.

 

"Yes, Jester dear, I was just trying to talk Caleb here into an outing at the weekend."

 

"Great!" Jester puffs out her chest. "We could all do with a really nice trip! Where are you going?"

 

"Good lord," Mollymauk mutters, lifting his good hand to his forehead as if fighting a headache.

 

Since Mollymauk seems decidedly against responding to her question, Caleb feels the need to carry on the conversation himself. "We do not know yet. In fact, it wasn't even a sure thing that we would be going out..."

 

Jester grins slyly. "It is now! Don't worry, I know lots of super fun places, liiiike... the theme park near here, or... the theme park near here, or...."

 

"You just want to go to the theme park!" Mollymauk releases his forehead to gesture wildly in exasperation. 

 

"Exactly," Jester chirps, giving him a look of confusion. "Of course I do. And it will be such a good place for a group date," she adds, drawing out her words for far too long, "and we will all be there to make sure everything goes smoothly..."

 

"Alright, fine, you win. Let's all go to the theme park." Mollymauk's frustration fades immediately as he turns to Caleb. "Are you alright with that?"

 

Caleb considers it for a moment. "Erm,  _ ja _ , I think I am. It sounds fun."

 

Mollymauk seems pleasantly surprised by his reply. "Good! Excellent. Well, I guess I should go invite the others." He gives Jester a pointedly sour look and sets off. Caleb doesn't miss the subtle but sharp elbow he gives her as he passes, and wouldn't have missed it even if Jester hadn't yelped loudly and stuck out her tongue at Mollymauk. 

 

She recovers quickly, however, and turns back to face him once Mollymauk is out of sight. "Well then, Caleb, I will see you later. I look forward to our group date." She leaves Caleb alone in the trailer with very little idea what just happened, but somehow with new plans for the weekend.

 

xxx

 

Until now, Caleb had never been to the nearby theme park. It’s an impressive looking place, decorated in an old fantasy style that admittedly makes him feel quite like a medieval wizard emerging from his tower for a leisurely stroll about town. Mollymauk wanders a few paces ahead, looking around in childlike wonder at every building they pass.

 

“This place is pretty fucking cool,” He says, turning over his shoulder to grin at Caleb. His tail swishes behind him as he walks, and Jester jogs a little to catch up with him.

 

“I know, right?” She beams. “Aren’t you glad I brought us all here?”

 

“I mean, you didn’t, but I am,” Mollymauk replies. “Where to first? Candyfloss?”

 

“Mollymauk, you live and work in a circus. You have constant access to candyfloss,” Caleb points out, which earns him a tongue stuck out in his direction.

 

“It’s more fun to buy it from other places.”

 

“Personally, I think water rides are a good starting point. Then you have the rest of the day to dry out,” Fjord says from the back of the group while trying to usher Nott away from a shop window. “Nott, I know it looks shiny but it’s all cheap shit, don’t waste your money.”

 

“Who said anything about money?” Nott complains, but scurries to catch up with the others all the same.

 

“Wouldn’t it be the opposite, though, Fjord?” Beau says, “Like, if we get wet now we’re gonna be freezing all day, probably catch a cold. If we do the water rides last then we just bundle back into the car and whack the heaters on.”

 

“Fair point. What do y’all wanna do, then?” Fjord asks.

 

Mollymauk hums thoughtfully, spreading a map out in front of him. “How about a good old ghost train?”

 

With the group’s agreement, they head towards the ghost train. Mollymauk hangs back a little, falling into step beside Caleb. “Do you think they hire real ghosts for their ghost trains?”

 

Caleb raises an eyebrow at him, amused. “I doubt it. Ghosts don’t tend to have jobs. It is most likely special effects.”

 

“The kind you can do with magic?”

 

“Possibly.” Caleb shrugs. “We will find out soon enough.”

 

xxx

 

Mollymauk sticks close to him as they approach the front of the ghost train’s queue. Caleb sees Jester cast the two of them a sly grin, and Mollymauk responds with a half heartedly exasperated sigh as Jester grabs Nott’s hand. “Two to a car! Nott, you’re with me!”

 

Caleb had already witnessed Beau’s disastrous yet somehow successful attempt to seduce Yasha into sharing a car with her - leaning “casually” against the railing at such an angle she almost fell over, playing it cool by pretending she wasn’t really bothered either way. Yasha had politely agreed, and Beau had barely managed to restrain a smile that would definitely have ruined her attempt at aloofness. So, with Nott and Yasha both spoken for, Caleb turns to Mollymauk with a questioning look.

 

“Are you okay going on with me?” Mollymauk asks as he catches his eye.

 

Caleb nods. “ _ Ja _ , I would like that.”

 

The two of them are directed towards a rather tiny-looking seat in the train, with Beau and Yasha in front and Jester and Nott behind. Mollymauk squishes himself against the side to make room for Caleb. Once they're both sat down, he finds it's unfeasible to keep himself in that position for the entire duration of the ride, and relaxes enough that he is pressed gently against Caleb's side. He glances at Caleb again, eyebrows raised, and Caleb nods, knowing without words that Mollymauk is checking up on him.

 

Caleb isn't often spooked by ghost stories. He has certainly read plenty in his time, and they have become somewhat predictable. Ghost trains, he suspects, are especially so - there are no plot twists to keep him engaged, just cheap jump-scares intended to set his nerves on edge. Normally, this kind of thing doesn't bother him, as he tends to find everyday life is much scarier. But there's something about sitting in the train, anticipating the beginning of the ride, that has him grasping the bar tightly.

 

Mollymauk touches his hand lightly, drawing his attention, before Caleb feels a tail settle around him.

 

The train begins to move, and Caleb's initial nerves calm almost immediately. He tries to adjust his eyes to the darkness, and a thought occurs to him. He leans into Mollymauk to whisper a question. "Is this whole thing less effective for you, Mollymauk, with darkvision?"

 

"Not really," Mollymauk whispers back, "I don't have anything to compare it to, so I don't know. But even though I can see, it's all just grey, and they set it up with things like darkvision in mind."

 

"Interesting. I never considered it before, but it is an interesting subject-" Caleb's words are cut off by a blaring siren which makes him jump, bumping his head against Mollymauk's horn. "Ah,  _ scheisse,  _ sorry." Behind him, he hears Nott screeching loud enough to drown out the rest of the noise.

 

Mollymauk giggles breathlessly, sounding equally as jumpy. "Don't worry about it. Stick closer to me if you want to, I don't mind."

 

" _ Nein _ , it is not that. I am not so easily scared by... by these," he says, gesturing to a passing group of cheap plastic skeletons riding bicycles in a circle. "I just got caught up in talking and forgot myself for a moment."

 

The train continues on, and eventually breaks through to daylight again, coming to a halt at the station. Jester wriggles her way between them as soon as they leave the car. "So, did you both get super scared and hold hands the whole way? Did you? Did you?"

 

"Regrettably, Jester, I saw no real ghosts inside that ghost train so I had no need to cling to Caleb like a baby," Mollymauk replies.

 

Jester folds her arms across her chest and pouts. "Disappointing. Where next?!"

 

xxx

 

They stay in the park until near closing time, riding whatever takes their fancy. Caleb finds himself sitting beside Mollymauk in several cases, and each time Mollymauk wraps his tail around Caleb's back just enough to let him know he's there. Caleb doesn't feel particularly anxious, but the gesture is still nice. The slight pressure warms his chest, leaving him more than once caught off guard by the ride starting, as he had been too busy watching Mollymauk with a silly little smile to prepare himself for it.

 

The sun is beginning to set, and they are all feeling tired from too much walking, everyone but Nott soaked from one too many rounds on the log flume, everyone especially Nott a bit too full up on candy.

 

Mollymauk is doing his best to win a prize from a hook-a-duck stand when Fjord wanders over to watch. "So, uh, where to after this? The river caves are nearby if you wanna try that out." He glances back at Jester, his expression saying he is about to regret something. Jester only grins and gives him a thumbs up. Fjord clears his throat. "Jester told me to tell you that they used to call the river caves the Tunnel of Love, because it gave couples a secluded place to make out or whatever back when it was super inappropriate to do that in public, so she thought you might be interested."

 

Mollymauk wiggles his hips, trying to lean further over the stand to reach more ducks, his tongue peeking out from between his lips. Given Fjord's conversation topic, Caleb forces himself to look away and pretend not to be listening. "Please send Jester my reluctant thanks for the completely random fun fact, and tell her that I appreciate it but that the knowledge will not be put to any good use," Mollymauk says. Caleb chalks the conversation up to another inside joke amongst the circus folks and heads off to find Nott.

 

Eventually, Mollymauk returns to the group with a bag hanging from one arm. "To the river caves?"

 

xxx

 

Nott walks beside Caleb as the group head off, handing him a piece of chocolate every few steps. "How has your day been?"

 

"I have enjoyed it very much," Caleb replies, sticking another piece of chocolate in his mouth as he adds, "Though I would like to end it without throwing up from too much sugar, thank you."

 

"Well, there's plenty more here if you want it," Nott says, continuing to munch away at it herself with no signs of stopping. "You're getting along well with Mollymauk, huh?"

 

" _ Ja _ , and you are getting along well with Jester."

 

"I should hope so. Our detective agency would go down the shitter immediately if we hated each other." She finishes her chocolate bar and rummages in her bag for another. "You should go on this next ride with Mollymauk. I think it'll be the last one for the day, and you and I can come back here any time."

 

"That is true." The comment gets Caleb thinking - Mollymauk is only going to be in town for less than two months. And what then? Do Caleb and Nott lose all their new friends as soon as the circus leaves town? Caleb rarely uses his phone, and hasn't even gotten Mollymauk's number yet. It will be difficult, he suspects, to keep in contact with them all when they aren't a five minute walk away from his apartment.

 

As if sensing what he's thinking, Nott tugs at his sleeve. "I have Jester's number, and she'll give me everyone else's. You should ask Molly for his, though! I think he'd appreciate it, and then we can all still chat wherever the circus ends up."

 

Ahead of them, Mollymauk walks on, head held high as he shows Fjord his winnings from the hook-a-duck stall. "I think I will ask him," Caleb murmurs in agreement.

 

xxx

 

This time, there is no dancing about in deciding who will sit with who in the river caves. Nott nudges Caleb forward in the line, and Mollymauk stumbles up beside Caleb as Jester does the same to him. He quickly composes himself, stepping aside and gesturing to the boat. "After you, Mr Caleb. Need a hand?"

 

Caleb steps into the boat, wobbling slightly, and takes the hand Mollymauk offers for support to climb down properly. Mollymauk follows him in, only letting go once they are both seated. The boats are entirely separate, giving the river caves a distinctly more intimate feel than the other rides they have been on so far. 

 

They set off through a beautifully decorated archway, coasting gently into a warmly lit area, and Caleb waits for the familiarity of Mollymauk's tail around him. It comes as expected, but this time it feels closer, more sure. Caleb glances at Mollymauk - he isn't looking back, seeming focused on admiring the scenery, but his lips are quirked in a knowing smile. Caleb watches him for a while, radiant in the faint orange light, more beautiful than any part of the ride's scenery.

 

As they pass into another room - this one darker, a spread of stars above them and a lovely violin solo in the background - Mollymauk meets his eyes. "Oh, by the way," he says, reaching down to his feet, "this is for you." He pulls a small plush cat from his bag and holds it out.

 

"For me?" Caleb hesitates, hands halfway to taking the cat.

 

" _ Ja, _ " Molly says in a poor imitation of Caleb's accent, smiling in a way that Caleb can only describe as cute. "I won it at the hook-a-duck. I remember you told me about your cat, and I felt like getting you something, and it's more fun if you win it, so..." He pressed the cat into Caleb's outstretched hands. "Don't let him get wet in the boat!"

 

"Of course I won't," Caleb practically coos, turning the cat around to inspect its face. "Thank you, Mollymauk. I... This is... Well, this is very sweet." He doesn't have the words to express the feeling swelling inside him. He doesn't even have the knowledge to process what it could be. Only Nott has ever gifted him something out of the blue, and he has barely known Mollymauk two weeks. He tucks the cat into his coat, pats it on the head and turns his attention back to the ride. Or tries to, anyway - he finds himself distracted, unable to stop glancing Mollymauk's way.

 

Caleb feels warmer all of a sudden. He takes a breath, trying to slow his heart.  _ Is this some kind of hot flush? Is it because Mollymauk is right here? Am I blushing? Why? _ His mind races with unanswered questions.

 

And then just outside the boat, a flame leaps upwards, sending fear coursing through his body. He hears himself cry out, feels his own hand gripping Mollymauk's knee tightly, sees Mollymauk's concerned eyes searching for his. "Caleb? Caleb, love, it was just a special effect. We're not in danger."

 

Caleb turns his head, scans the area. Mollymauk is right. It wasn't a hot flush - their little boat is floating through rows of gentle flames, dancing in a display that would be impressive if it hadn't shocked him so badly. He closes his eyes to compose himself, and feels the heat of the fire against his face the same as before, sees his childhood home burning behind his eyelids.

 

Mollymauk's hand closes over Caleb's, prying fingers off of his knee - but rather than just removing the contact and letting go, as Caleb had expected, Mollymauk holds Caleb's hand between both of his own. It gives Caleb something to hold onto, literally and figuratively. With his free hand, he finds the cat and holds it against his chest until he can open his eyes again.

 

The boat has moved on, the flames now behind them. Mollymauk's thumb traces light circles in his skin. "If I'd known that would have happened, I wouldn't have gotten you in here with me."

 

"You couldn't have known. You didn't even know I have an, uh, issue, with fire." Caleb sets the cat back on the seat, but does not withdraw his hand.

 

"Is it something you want to talk about?"

 

Caleb shakes his head. "Not here. Some day, perhaps, but not here. Let's just... enjoy the rest of our evening."

 

Wordlessly, their hands settle in between then, still clasped together. They don't let go until the ride is over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not going to pretend that this entire chapter isn't just me, a known theme park fiend, projecting my dream date
> 
> happy new year, see u in 2019


End file.
